The Peanut Chronicles

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Well, I made it almost through the night without wondering where the furball that resides at my feet was. As ususal, when I went for my 345am bathroom trip, I wound up sleeping back on the floor next to princess poopy paws, who had decided once again to settle down on the body pillow on the floor. The bear found him in the cradle when he came to bed last night and took him out. The poor cat still won’t sleep on the bed and wants to remain on the floor near where the old man died. It’s weird. He’s taking this a lot harder then the Bear and I ever thought he would.
And how am I? Well, still here I guess. Last night we went to this “baby prep” class. I had the old man’s collar in my pocket the whole time. Kind of dumb but what can I say? It’s my comfort toy right now. Princess doesn’t want to play with any of his toys now. The birth class was all right I guess. The bear was traumatized by the video we watched of a natural birth. He hid behind me!! It was the “nicest” video I think he is going to see. Once again we were the youngest in the class. I think we had the most fun as well. The teacher was leading us through this meditation “breath deep and relax, feeling your energy go to the spots where you are most tense and working to release that tension” sort of shit. I thought I left all this shit in Arcata. It’s true. I couldn’t relax or concentrate on my breathing (because it’s very difficult to do so for me at this moment. Too much of a baby pressing on my lungs and shallow breaths, not to mention major heartbreak.) So I sat and watched the other couples in the group. Even the Bear was trying hard to concentrate on the activity. I thought that was interesting, him giving into his inner hippie. Mostly I just sat and thought about my old man and how much I miss him already.
Today at the internship. Nobody has said anything to me about the cat. I am glad and pissed at the same time. Glad because I don’t want to deal with it anymore, pissed because shouldn’t they recognize suffering and give sympathy? Love Child asked how my weekend was and I said shitty and that my cat died. She gasped and said “Not grandpa!!” and then went into the “I’m so sorry” spiel. It was kind of n ice. I invited her to the wake. Whether or not she’ll come is a mystery. Zanna and Nerd said they might venture into the burbs from the city (SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS!!) but I am not holding my breath. I would rather stay in the city then go out to yuppieville.

Better get to the intern work. Hahahaha….