The Peanut Chronicles

I am sure that moms around the world have had this discussion with other moms but I don’t know any other moms. It’s just me, trapped in the suburbs, with a yuppie (yet not really a yuppie) husband, an adorable son, and two cats. My friends are all single or engaged and none of them have children or want children for that matter. Its an interesting dilemma when a problem arises with Nut because who do you call?
(Personally I email some really cool people for advice)

Today’s conversation with Fly Girl, who was baby-sitting the Peanut while I was at the interview, was about Nut’s constipation. Yes, Peanut is constipated. I thought for sure all the screeching this past week that has driven me to the cliffs of insanity was all about teething. I gave in on Friday and took him to Dr. L because nothing we were doing for the teething was working. Dr. L promptly asked me how his bowels were. The result of that conversation informed me that my darling little Nutter Butter was constipated.

So what is the remedy for a constipated three month old? A teaspoon of carro syrup in water. Who knew? And here this leave me wondering about sugar in diets and America’s childhood obesity issues but if it makes my baby stop screaming so loudly that my deaf self can hear him, well… I will try it!

Flash forward to today. After yet another night of sleeplessness and restlessness on the Nut’s half, he finally got relief. Oh yes, my son took a dump.

I am so proud.

The conversation that went with FG after this massive movement was something like this:

FG: “Well, he pooped all right but he is asleep and I don’t want to wake him to change his diaper. But lordy, I can smell it!!!”

Me: “Ok, when he wakes up change the diaper and call me back”

About half an hour later…

FG: “wow. He took a MAJOR shit.”

Me: “How major?”

FG: “MAJOR!”

Me: “was it hard? Soft? In between?”

FG: “Uhhh… I would have to say soft.”

Me: “What color was it?”

FG: “Are you serious?”

Me” “Yes!”

FG: “I would have to say green.”

Me “Green? Neon? Forest? Grass? Sludge? Emer-“

FG: “Sludge.”

I ponder for a few minutes.

Me: “How much was there?”

FG: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How much was there? A teaspoon? A tablespoon? Half a cup?”

I’ll spare you the rest of the details.

I find it rather humorous that I was sitting and discussing poop with my friend. Baby poop for that matter. I don’t think I know anyone else who would be that interested in shit other then me. What can I say: I am the first mother of my clan of friends and I am boldly going where no one has gone before.

5 Comments:

Cristina said...: I've never spoken about poop more than since my baby was born. And his first poop after constipation is TOTALLY celebrated at our house.

By the way, once your baby is on solids, prunes are another great way to beat constipation. Just a few teaspoons a day'll do it.; 4:44 PM
Nut's mom said...: niiiiice.

I'll have to remember that. the corn syrup isn't working now.

^&%*%$$&^$%#^#%!!!!!; 10:11 PM
carrie said...: Welcome to the world of mommies everywhere! Now, no topic is taboo, no subject too gross! It only gets better!!!

At least you are paving the way for your friends and when their time comes, you can sit back and giggle as they ponder poop color!

Carrie; 1:19 PM
Mamacita Tina said...: Peaches seem to do the trick with my little guy.

I'm amazed at how the poop color can change sooooo much once they're on solids.; 4:48 AM
Suburban Turmoil said...: Oh, good times. :); 11:22 AM

5 Comments:

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