Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Reason number 4 my husband is an ass

Reason one: he cheated. Twice. (before we were married.)
Reason two: Chicago
Reason Three: comment made 4 weeks after Nut was born

and now for reason 4:


I really dislike it when the Bear questions my skills as a parent. Today’s prime example of this was when he was leaving for Scarlet Wood (lucky bastard) with a client. He will be gone over night. He asked me if he should call Fly Girl and have her “check up on” us to see if “we are doing ok.”

I know what you are thinking: awwwwwwww

This, however, was actually a backhanded compliment caring looking thing. I told him that FG was coming over at about 1130 so I could go work out and try to settle my mind over this whole new job thing (it starts next Tuesday by the way). He smiled and said “great, because I know how hard it is for you with nut. Maybe I should have FG stay the night and take the night shift.”

Excuse me? What the fuck? Do you think I am not capable of waking up to feed the baby?

I inquired his thought process for this and he literally said, “well, I know how frustrated you get with him and you tend to break down if left along with him for too long and I thought I would be sure that you got a break so you don’t get hysterical like you did when you went wedding dress shopping with Autumn.”

All right, he has a point. I did sort of breakdown crying hysterically when he left me alone with Nut for the whole day when I was supposed to go out with Autumn and was frustrated with Nutter. However, that was two weeks after he was born, I was still on major meds (12 of them!!), couldn’t bed down because of the c-section, was super sleep derived, couldn’t get Nut to breast feed, was still super hormonal and he went off to play air soft with his buddies. Yeah, any wonder why I was upset? That was last MARCH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!

I point this out. His response? “Well, by the time I get home you hand me Nut and walk out of the room and don’t touch him for at lest an hour.”

Again, true. However, Bear leaves us at about 8am and gets home between 7 and 9 pm. I have spent the whole day feeding, burping, changing, playing, rocking, singing, reading, sesame streeting, avoiding Satan, eye drop giving, baby einstiening, the wigglesing (are EVIL), dancing, bathing, and trying to nap for the last 12 fucking hours. OF COURSE I am going to hand over the baby! I don’t even have time to take a shit without him!!

I am agitated that Bear thinks it’s all games. And when Bear is home with Nut, it is all games!! He laundry monsters! He elevators! He Super Nut’s! And Nut is only awake for maybe, at the most, four hours when Bear is around. The rest he sleeps. And yes, Bear has one day off a week in which he takes Nut and totally fucks up my schedule I am trying to put him on by taking him for a fun day of hiking! Or to the park! Never mind that this totally fucks up the schedule I am trying to keep because I have him the other SIX fucking days!!!

Does he get that? of course not. He wants to be the fun parent.

Needless to say, I was a little pissed. I swear to god sometimes he just doesn't think at all before he opens his fucking mouth. It didn’t help after our conversation from last night. But that is another story to be vented during Nut’s afternoon nap because the Peanut is beginning to wake up now.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ugh...lady, hes an ass. Let me tell you, Ive got 1 and 3 year old boys, PLUS Ive been foster parenting my 2 year old niece for the past month, and may have her for up to 6 months. My husband works from 9 in the morning till 11, or sometimes 1 at night 6 days a week. Youre allowed to be frustrated and hand the kid off for an hour. Its not your soul duty to look at the baby 24/7, he had a hand in it too. Its not that youre not capable, but you probably need a break.

12:09 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

You describe the "fun daddy" syndrome which we all know so very well. All I can say is that you are not alone in this, and the daddies will never get it. I think it is a mom thing, whether you are working or staying at home. It gets so bad over here sometimes that when I get a weekend away with the girls, I wish that someone would get sick, there would be copious amounts of schedule arranging and birthday-partying, and maybe some other crisis he would have to deal with--without me there. Then, maybe he'd understand what I go through EVERY DAY!!!

Sorry for the rambling, I don't mean to hijack your post, but I thought sharing this might make you feel a little better!

Hang in there, the job starts Tuesday? Hopefully, that will help. You will be out of the "routineness" of baby care for a little bit of the day, and you will actually be able to interact with adults! I'm jealous!! :)

Carrie

1:44 PM  
Blogger Nut's mom said...

I bitch here to vent. the truth is the good waaaaay outways the bad. However, here is where I vent. :)

4:46 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

My hubby used to have the same kind of hours when our son was a baby. It is HARD. And then he once had the audacity to bitch about how the house wasn't clean enough. Grrr.

So yeah, I feel your pain!

9:24 PM  

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