Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I hate it when people want my advice on THIS subject.
What do I think?
Phone call this morning from a friend from school. She needed my “expert” opinion about another friend who is having an issue with her spouse.
Hmm… ok. When people in my field say they have a friend that has a question, they are doing either two things: the first, they have a client and they don’t want to break confidentiality but are out of ideas and the second, they are talking about themselves. More oft then not, it’s the latter of the two.
So friend A says to me that her friend (Friend B) thinks but isn’t sure, that something bad went down with her partner.
How bad?
Was totally drunk and was having sex with him, told him please don’t and then passed out. Partner continued to fuck her several times, to which she has no memory of because she was totally gone. However, partner says she was totally into it, moaning and everything and the “sex was great.” the next mornign, she wakes up very sore.
Hmmm….
Friend B is now really confused because she isn’t really sure what to make of it. Drunk… remembers saying please don’t (in reference to cumming in her, she thinks) and then nothing. It is like a huge blank in her head.
Where does my expert opinion come in? Was this sexual assault? Married, drunk, yes then no, no recall of it, very sore the next day, nothing really visible wrong…
I’m gonna have to say yes. according to several statics, including my book, 17% of all assualts are intimates (i.e. parnters,husbands, wives, boy/girl friends.
But friend B doesn’t really want to hear that because Partner is a really good guy and really loving and treats her like a princess. And they have been together for almost 10 years and have a child together. And if she can’t remember anything, how bad can it be?
Any one have an opinion on this?
posted by Nut's mom at 1:23 PM
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3 Comments:
fortunately never been in that situation, but my opinion is she needs to definitely address it with her husband and get him to understand how upset she is about this
I think she knows deep down inside that it was wrong. Was her husband drunk too? Not that it excuses him, but I am curious if it also affected his judgement and perceptions of what she did.
Partner sober.
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