Thursday, August 10, 2006

Oh yes, putting the FUN back into funerals

The next day, a very jet lagged Bear, Nut and I race from Chicago to Downer’s Grove to the mass. Bear rushes inside with Nut and I take my time. It was so humid the buckle on my shoe s swelled shut. I was having issues and sorry, when you are wearing 4-inch heels, it’s good to have the buckle working. But noooo… the humidity wouldn’t allow it so I fixed it as well as I could.

When I get into the mass I realize, for the first time, that this is actually a military funeral. Turns out that Hank was in WWII. In fact, he was in D-Day. Wow. I am impressed. I always am impressed with soldiers. They have balls of steel.

While everyone was doing the “stand up, sit down, fight fight fight” thing of a catholic mass, I sat and bounced Nut on my hip. Sure I stood. Sure I sat. But I couldn’t kneel, not with a Nut. Instead, I looked at the stained glass window in the Joan of Arc Catholic Church. Interestingly noted was that many of the symbols in the window could double in Taoist and Pagan beliefs. And why was there a skull on the window? I snapped back into reality as everyone, but me of course, got communion. Then came the priest, blessing the coffin, which was next to Nut and me I might add, with incense.

“In other religions,” I whispered to Nut, “the smoke and the flame represents tow of the elements of the five needed to survive. It’s the fire and the air.”

As we followed the priest and the coffin, like lemmings to the sea, up to where the hearse was waiting, I wondered if the priest had anything else to add to the coffin. As the Army folks draped the coffin in a flag, the priest sprinkled it with holy water.

“The earth and the water, Nutter, the other two elements of the world. The last is your soul”

As the funeral procession pulled into the graveyard, I was intrigued that there was to be the 21-gun salute for Hank. It was beautiful. The army actually did an amazing job. I didn’t feel right putting a flower on the grave so I let Bear take Nut over and put flowers on the coffin before it was lowered into the grave.

And then it happened.

Nut projectile vomited.

Oh.my.god.

Luckily, he spit up on the grave next to hank’s. Can you imagine what would have happened if he puked on the coffin?


More to follow, including the reason for the bruised hand.

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